


Bad Habit

by my_unlikely_hero



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Not as graphic as the others, im basically the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2018-10-28 09:54:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10828884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_unlikely_hero/pseuds/my_unlikely_hero
Summary: What if Neil's truck driver isn't as friendly as it is in the books?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't as graghic as usual, I promise! I just couldn't get it out of my head... so this happened.

Guys let me just start out by saying I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I couldn't get this out of my head and if I have to suffer so do you :) at least we're in hell together <3 

 

Eden's Twilight is a blur of memory in Neil's mind-- blurred lights, vague music, and drugs forced down his throat. Nicky's mouth on his own is about the only thing Neil remembers with any clarity, and it makes him shudder. The hand in the back of his head, tangled in his hair, and the arm around his hips doesn't help. 

The taste of salty/sweet and the slide of tongue forced inside his mouth helped Neil vomit everything in his stomach out. The hand in his hair helps him aim for a trash can beside the bed. Nicky is mumbling things to him, and as soon as he can control himself again, Neil fights against the hold. His arms are trembling and his body is dehydrated and weak but his boots are heavy enough to do damage as he kicks. It takes all of Neil's effort to get out of bed, away from Nicky. 

“Don't you fucking touch me,” Neil snarls, scrambling from the bed onto the floor. 

Neil struggles to rise, using the headboard and side table as support. Standing takes too much effort-- more than it should-- and he had to stop to catch his breath once he's leaning against the wall. His knees threaten to collapse beneath him. Still, when Aaron appears at the bedroom door Neil finds the strength to hurl the closest object at his head. Aaron ducks just in time and the alarm clock smashes into pieces against the door frame where Aaron's head had been. 

After several tense minutes and failed attempts to walk, Neil grudgingly accepts Nicky's help to the kitchen. The arm around his hips makes him angry and sick, but he manages. Nicky helps him sit at the kitchen table and Aaron sets a glass of water in front of him-- as if Neil would during anything the Monsters put in front of him, after last night. Neil upends the glass over the floor and lets it drop. 

Nicky slowly sits down beside Neil. 

“Can I check on your head or are you going to bite me if I touch you?” 

Neil ignores the question in favor of his own. “What did I say last night?” 

“Nothing to me, besides an admirably creative death threat. I don't know how the conversation with Andrew went but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a bus boy a hundred bucks to knock you out.” 

All of the cash in his wallet. Neil doesn't remember this. The lack of memory disturbs him, and he finds that Nicky's kiss was the last thing he can remember. 

With Nicky's help, Neil stumbles to the bathroom to shower and brush the bad taste from his mouth. Neil locks the door behind him drinks water from the faucet until the burning in his mouth and throat eases. When the buzzing in his head dies down a little, Neil looks around the room. There is a pile of new clothes sitting for him on the closed toilet seat and a pile of clean towels on the counter. Most importantly, though, is the window between the mirror and the shower. 

Neil puts on the clothes-- jeans and a plain black tee shirt, which fit tighter than he would prefer. He puts in his pair of emergency contacts hidden in his wallet and runs a hand through his hair, careful of the goose egg beside his ear. 

Neil shoves the clothes from the club into the toilet as hard as he can, and closes the lid. He turns the shower on and opens the window carefully. It's a tight fit and his abused body protests such movement, but desperation helps Neil wiggle his way out. 

Neil walks his way through the subdivision on shaking legs, hoping to see a highway or interstate that could lead him back to Palmetto. His wallet is empty, the hundred dollars he had brought spent bribing the man at the club and the rest hidden in his binder. Neil will have to hitchhike back to campus but his mother taught him how to not attract attention to himself so the drivers don't ask questions. 

He's grateful when a gas station comes into view-- his muscles are cramping from the dehydration and his legs are wobbling dangerously. Neil tries to find a trucker going in the right direction, but he keeps getting turned away. 

“Sorry, kid, I don't pick up hitchhikers. Go back home to your folks,” one woman says before leaving. 

A man across the parking lot-- one of two trucks still at the station-- waved him over. The man is almost as tall as Matt, but is whip-thin. He doesn't look like he could be dangerous and he smiles warmly as Neil comes closer. 

“Hey boy, you looking for a ride?”

“Yes, sir.” 

Neil tries not to shy away from the man who vaguely resembles Nathan. He tries to look like a student, only semi-interested in doing the study. As the man drives, Neil asks questions that a surveyor would. About halfway through the hour drive, the man looks over. 

“Hitchhiking is a bad habit to get into.” 

“Yes, sir.” Neil answers, staring out the window. 

“Kid, you ain't fooling no one with that crap. You look about sixteen, no offense. Ain't no way you're a college kid.” 

Neil doesn't know what to say, except to insist that yes, he really is a sociology major and that yes, this is a summer assignment. 

“Easy, boy, I'm not going to turn you in. I just want a little something as thank you for the effort. Know what I mean?” 

Neil doesn't know what he means. “My wallet is back at the dorms, sorry. I forgot-”

“That ain't what I mean.” The driver runs at himself through his jeans and for a moment, Neil is confused. And then he's disgusted and scared. 

“You can let me off here, that's fine. I don't want any trouble,” Neil presses himself against the door. They're going 80 miles per hour, though the speed limit is only 70. Neil has rolled out of moving vehicles before, but he doesn't think he can survive it going 80. The wind would throw him under the truck and the back wheels would probably crush him. 

“Come on, boy, don't be like that.”

“Pull over, please. I want out.” Neil is reconsidering jumping. 

A fist swings out and Neil's reflexes are too slow to dodge. It lands against the side of his head, just below the knot he had gotten last night. Pain splits across his skull and that's all. 

 

Neil wakes up in pain. The room is moving around him and his head feels like it's splitting. Neil's legs are cramping and it aches all the way up his back. He's cold enough to feel himself shivering-- why is he so hurt and cold? Is he sick? 

It takes Neil a moment to remember what happened. He opens his eyes to survey the room around him and finds a windshield view between two seats. He's on the camper bed in the back of the semi cab, jeans around his knees. He nearly puked again but he manages to keep his stomach. 

With shaking hands Neil reaches down to pull up his jeans. The movement jars something inside him and he cries out. 

“Finally awake?” A pleased voice calls from the front. 

Neil wiggles his pants back up around his legs slowly. He can't suppress the groans that slip past his lips. 

“You're a sick fuck,” Neil moans, bringing himself to sit up. He gets halfway there, leaning against the cab wall, before he has to stop. 

The driver laughs. “Didn't your ma ever tell you not to ride with strangers? I didn't even have to offer you candy, boy. You're too pretty to be wandering around alone. And anyway, your stop is coming up.” 

Neil thinks about killing the man, but they're flying down the interstate. He stays silent, trying to compartmentalize the pain. He didn't survive this long by giving into his pain, so Neil slowly slides a hand down the back of the jeans to check for blood. There is very little of it, thankfully, and he spies a used condom on the floor by his foot. At least the man hadn't passed on any infections. 

“Stop, please. Stop right here, I'm getting out.” Neil's voice shakes as he fights not to panic. 

It turns out they're only a quarter of a mile from the Palmetto exit, anyway. It's an eleven mile walk to campus, which Neil doesn't look forward to but it's better than being in the semi with that man. Neil's legs shake as he walks and a few times they give out altogether, sending him to the ground. 

There are no other cars on the road and the sky gets dark as Neil limps along. Neil thinks as he sits down, resting. He can't go any farther right now, so he thinks as he waits to regain feeling in his legs. He knows that Andrew didn't get his answers last night-- and that Andrew won't stop until he gets them. Neil also knows that he won't survive another one of these attempts. The thought makes him scared, ridiculously so. Neil would avoid a confrontation with Andrew if possible. 

In fact, the thought of Palmetto altogether sounds much less appealing now than it had. Neil is still walking funny by mile ten, and his legs are numb and his back is killing him. Worst of all is the pain deep down that Neil is finding harder and harder to ignore. This feels worse than the other injuries he has had because it feels more personal. He doesn't want to consider why-- he doesn't want to think about it at all, except maybe how to treat the injury. There hadn't been much blood earlier, so Neil doesn't know how to treat it. The extent of his knowledge includes stitches and bandages and alcohol to numb the pain. 

Neil just needs a place to sleep and hide away until Matt and Seth vacate their dorm so Neil can grab his things. Then he's leaving, he's already decided. He can't stand the thought of seeing Andrew again and his veins are singing to run and never look back. 

Neil limps his way to the library. This early in the year it's deserted, and Neil sneaks past the desk to the study rooms in the back. He draws the blinds and curls up on the floor under the desk. Exhausted, he falls into a fitful sleep. 

 

Neil allows himself to nap for a few hours before the discomfort wakes him. By then the library has closed for the night. Neil spends a few hours pouring over a map, planning where he will go next. He will have to avoid the coast and his father's territory. Neil thinks he may try Canada again, though someplace warm is better for sleeping outside. Maybe he should head down to Texas or Louisiana. His mother had a contact in Charlottesville that could set Neil up with a new ID. 

Practice starts at 8 so Neil waits for when the dorm should be empty before sneaking out of the library. Thankfully everyone is at the court and not waiting around for him-- that would make packing a little harder. It only takes a few short minutes for Neil to pack his clothes and the other few items he had collected. His binder is tucked safely into the seam with his cash and Neil leaves the keys and the Palmetto hoodie on the bed. It would be nice to bring but the right orange and the name Josten printed on the back makes it impossible. 

Dressed in his own threadbare jeans and a baggy grey shirt, Neil feels slightly less exposed. His ass still hurts when he walks but it's not quite the same burning ache that it was. He still feels some of the effects of yesterday's drugs-- a headache and some muscle cramps. Neil steals a bottle of Tylonal that is probably Matt's and takes a few dry. A shower sounds amazing but Neil doesn't dare to stay longer than absolutely necessary in case one of the Foxes returns. 

With his back over his back and shoes on his feet, Neil heads south.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT someone liked this enough to share it on Tumblr?????? I am crying omg!! Today was such a trying day and I loooooved all of the lovely comments you guys left. You're so good to me :) 
> 
> For Not_today and Chocolate_Hell_Cookies_Freedom2481999 
> 
> This is a little shorter than I wanted, but I'm exhausted and have to be up for work @ 4:30 so here it is!! Please let me know what you think :) your comments encourage me to brainstorm while I'm at work ;)  
> <3

The house is quiet, which must mean that Neil was still asleep. If he was awake the kid would be raising a fuss and making a mess, Andrew was sure. Last nights drugging had not gone as planned-- Neil had ended the event early by getting himself knocked out. At least it had been interesting , that Neil was so unpredictable. Though, if Neil wanted punched unconscious Andrew would have volunteered… after the questioning, of course. Business first and all that. 

“Neil still passed out? Lazy bum.” Andrew grins involuntary, dosed up again before they left for food. He sets the bags on the counter and grabs his own mug of coffee. He looks to Aaron for an answer. 

“He's in the shower. Has been for a while.” Aaron says, sipping his coffee. 

“Did anyone bother to check that he hasn't drowned?” Kevin sounds hungover and pissed at the thought of losing a team member. 

Andrew hums, his grin widening. He turns on the hot water in the kitchen sink and the upstairs bathroom, and flushed the toilet. It's something that makes Nicky screech when he's being particularly annoying-- except there is no indignant screaming or cursing or anything else even mildly amusing. 

The bathroom is silent, save for the running of water. There isn't even the splashing or displaced water of someone moving around. Andrew unlocks the door and pushes it open. The toilet is clogged with black clothes-- the ones Neil had worn to the club. The skinny jeans and shirt Nicky had picked out were gone and the small bathroom window was open. There was no Neil. 

Andrew laughs at it all, both because of the drug and because of the escape. Neither of the twins, nor Nicky were small enough to fit through the window, but Neil was skinnier than any of them. Still, he must have been determined. It would have been quite a squeeze. 

“Looks like someone doesn't like to play along,” Andrew quips, cutting into his order of pancakes. 

Nicky looks at him, all worried like he didn't have a hand in drugging Neil the night before. Like this wasn't just as much his fault as it was Andrews or anyone else's. 

“Aren't we going to go find him? He could be passed out in a gutter somewhere!” 

Andrew shrugs, talking around a mouthful of sticky pancake. “Not my problem.” 

Andrew drizzles more syrup onto his pancakes while Kevin makes sounds of woe. Aaron is still slowly sipping coffee, too hungover to pick a side in the argument. He doesn't know Neil, therefore the kid isn't his problem. 

“Coach is going to kill us! After what happened to Matt last year, he's going to throw us off the team. Neil is, like, some sort of lost kitten everyone's adopted-- they're going to kill us for losing him!” 

“We didn't lose him, he left. If he wants to run off like some juvenile he can find his own way home.” 

“Fuck, Andrew.” Nicky moans pathetically. 

“Shut up,” Andrew warns, still grinning. “Go shower, you reek. We're leaving in a few hours whether the rabbit is with us or not.” 

Neil isn't back by the time they leave. Andrew figures that if the kid had wanted a ride, he would have stayed. Since he left of his own free will, he is no longer Andrews problem. They ride back in a tense silence, and while the others are unpacking Andrew slips next door. It's easy enough to pick the lock, but Matt is there in a second. 

“I don't think so. Where's Neil?” Matt blocks the doorway so Andrew can't slip past. 

“How should I know? He isn't with us.” 

“What do you mean he isn't with you? You took him to Columbia!” 

“The little rabbit darted as soon as he woke up.” Andrew doesn't sound the least bit apologetic, nor concerned. 

“You lost him?” 

“He ran away,” Andrew says slowly as if Matt doesn't comprehend. “That was his own choice, and therefore not my problem.” 

Andrew turns on a heel and leaves. No searching through Neil's things while Matt is guarding the room. He’ll just have to interrogate the runner again when he returns. 

It's coach that bothers him next. Andrews phone rings and rings until he sighs and answers. Wymack’s voice crackles through Andrews cheap flip phone. 

“Where the fuck is Josten?” 

Andrew sighs, long and suffering. “He ran away, coach, I don't know. I don't have a pet tracker on the rabbit.”

“What did you do to him, you psychotic little jackass?” 

“Nothing to worry about, honest. Just some crackers. He didn't even drink with us, how rude.”

“Why don't I believe you?” Wymack sounds exhausted. 

“Dunno, don't care. Good luck with finding the rabbit. He's either long gone or halfway back by now. Either way, I wouldn't worry about it. Or do, I don't care.” Andrew hangs up before coach says something else incredibly annoying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally write these like a sentence at a time while I'm at work so any motivation you guys give me absolutely helps me make it through my day :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chocolate_Hell_Cookies_Freedom2481999 made me cry so here, have another chapter <3

Neil's decision to leave isn't a hard one. Between Andrews hostility and Nicky's drugged kiss, Neil had avoided questioning the only way he could. It had been a temporary solution to survive the night. Neil doesn't want to face the consequences that await him at Palmetto. He still aches from whatever that driver did to him-- his concussion is mild but still annoying, making his head pound and his vision cross; his throat hurts too, and his wrists are bruised. Though, honestly, Neil isn't sure if the bruises came from the stranger or one of the monsters. He is stubbornly ignoring the pain between his thighs, even as it spreads up his back and cramps his lower stomach. 

Neil walks across town to the train station, rather than risk hitchhiking again. His duffel feels heavier than it ever has. He wishes he could have kept his Fox hoodie-- Neil had been looking forward to Exy. Of course, he knew it would have ended anyways. His father's men would have caught him or Neil would have eventually left. 

Honestly, he should have known better than to try and settle in one place. Bad things happen when you settle too long, though not in the way Neil had expected. His mother had constantly hammered home the threat of Neils father. But she hadn't thought to teach him about the other predators. Neil knows now, and he won't be making the same mistake again. 

Neil buys his ticket in cash, choosing the route that will get him the furthest away without taking him close to his father's territory. It will take him out of the state, close enough that Neil can still make his way to Louisiana. Though it's another two hour wait for the train. Neil takes advantage of the break to drink two bottles of water with some convenience store food and a handful of Tylonal. It doesn't help the ache in his stomach, but it dulls his headache into something more bearable. 

Exhaustion threatens to overwhelm him but Neil no longer has someone to watch his back-- another lesson hard learned. So his eyes droop and his body aches but Neil doesn't dare sleep. Not intentionally, anyway. 

An arm on his shoulder wakes Neil with a yelp-- he swings and someone catches his fist. They grab his bruised wrist and hold him down like Neil's struggles are worthless. 

“Let go, let go please. Don't fucking touch me!” Neil pleads, pulling desperately. 

The hand lets him go, and Neil's eyes focus on the exits and the few people at the station. They are all staring at Neil now, confused rather than concerned. 

“Jesus fuckin Christ, kid. Breath. It's just me.” 

That's Coach Wymack's voice. Neil's eyes dart back. The older man is carefully out of arm's reach, bending to be level. Neil is still hunched over his duffle but tensed to run. 

“What the flying hell do you think you're doing? Practice was hours ago, and in case you didn't notice, this” Wymack gestures to the station around them, “is not the Exy court.” 

“I made a mistake. I can't play for your team.” 

“Because of the monsters? Kid, we can keep Andrew and the rest away from you, you just have to let us know. I'm no mind reader, thank god. And Matt has all but adopted you already.” 

Neil shakes his head. His hair moves out of his eyes, showing off a glimpse of his blackened eye. 

“Andrew do that?” Wymack barks, ignoring Neil's flinch. 

Neil clutches the strap on his bag tighter, running his free hand through his bangs to smooth them back into place. 

“No. Andrew didn't hit me.” He doesn't think. 

“Then who did?” 

Wymack scowls, arms crossed like an irate parent. Well, a normal parent. Not Neil's. Neil would have been hit by now. 

Instead of answering the question, Neil shrugs. He looks out at the crowd, at the expected boarding time, anywhere but the man in front of him. 

“Today, Josten.” 

“Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.” His mother or father would have hit him for that answer, and Neil half expects Wymack to do the same thing. 

“Kid, your answer won't bother me, but dodging questions is getting on my nerves. Now you can answer me or I can drag your ass to see Abby.” 

“I'm not going back to campus,” Neil scowls. “I'm not a Fox anymore. Coming her was a mistake.” 

“Kid, you're a Fox as long as your name is on that contract.” 

Neil sighs, defeated. At best, he figures Abby can maybe give him some better pain killers. And he can always run the next chance he gets, anyway. He chooses his next words carefully. He thinks about lying but figured that if Wymack is going to drag him to Abby, they'll find out anyway. 

“I picked the wrong driver to ride with.” That's all Neil can choke out from between his clenched teeth. He hopes it's enough. 

“And he beat you up?” This pinched look crosses over Wymacks face. “Is that all?”

Neil looks away. His refusal to answer is as close to an answer as Wymack will get. Again Wymack hears ‘Let go, let go please!’ In his head. It turns his stomach and settles his resolve. 

“Shit, kid. You're going to be the death of me. Come on, I'll take you to Abby and then we can talk this over.” 

Neil flinches away from Wymacks offered hand. He counts the exits one more time and considers his pain level versus the distance between him and the man. He doesn't think he can run without Wymack catching him. He surrenders and stands, and silently appreciates the way everyone ignores his limp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk guys I might may just leave it here? Like this? Because I'm wayyy lost on how Andrew (who doesn't trust Neil and kinda just wants him gone) is going to factor into things. Helpful pointers? Ideas? Complaints? Lol let me know <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: flashbacks ahead.   
> Also I did not edit this before I posted.

Wymack sits impatiently on the couch with a glass of whiskey that Abby keeps here just for him. Well, for David and her really bad days.

Currently, Abby and Neil are locked away in her bathroom doing what they can for Neil's injuries. The kid had sat crooked and silent the entire ride over, and had only grudgingly gone with the nurse. Wymack has to wonder what happened in Columbia to make Neil want to run. Not even Matt had wanted to leave, and they had drugged him. 

Today must be a really bad day, because Abby rips off her gloves and grabs the glass from his hand and downs it in one go. 

“He needs a hospital, not a college sports nurse,” Abby hisses, slamming the glass into the table. 

“What's the damage? Can he still play?” 

“You'll have to ask him. The blood test will be back next week and I'll let you know what it says. But in the end it's Neil's decision whether he wants to get on court again.” 

The coach sighs and knocks back another glass before passing some to Abby. 

Neil had sat quietly throughout the entire ordeal. He had stripped out of his clothes with great reluctance and had to close his eyes when he caught a glimpse of the bruising on his hips. Dark blues and greens blended together on pale skin and Neil is certain those hadn't been there when he had left the house in Columbia. 

“You're going to have to do a blood test,” Neil says with fouxe bravado. The condom on the semi floor flashes through his mind behind his closed eyes, unwillingly. That didn't necessarily mean anything, Neil thought. It could have even been from someone else. He digs his nails into his palms to ground himself, even as Abby reminds him to breathe. 

She doesn't say anything for a moment. She's shocked, even as she stares at the evidence before her. Hand shaped bruises around Neil's throat, fingers on his hips and the remains of a nasty concussion. 

“Okay, Neil. Thank you for telling me. We could take you to a hospital and the police could get a statement. Or I can do it here. Whatever you want.” 

“Just do it. Please.” Neil's voice starts to wobble, and he shuts up. 

“You know if you want to talk about it, me and Betsy-” Abby offers before cutting herself short. 

Neil shakes his head violently enough to make himself sick. The nurse has to scramble to shove the trash can under his face. Talking never did Neil any good. It had been beaten into him at a very young age, to keep silent about things like this. So there would be no hospital, no police statement, and no therapy. 

Abby hands over a set of comically large sweatpants and shirt. They look to be Wymacks. She offers Neil the shower and a towel, which he gratefully accepts. He turns the heat up high enough to scald his skin red and washes away the sweat and other things from the past 36ish hours. The water colors pink for a moment and Neil closes his eyes rather than watch it swirl around the drain. He borrows Abby's body wash, which smells like something fruity, and scrubs himself several times over. His skin is raw by the time Neil resigns to the fact that he probably won't feel clean no matter how much he scrubs. 

Wymacks ranting draws Neil back to the living room. Andrew is standing silently in the middle of the room while Coach lectures him about abandonment and abuse and other things that Andrew cheerfully ignores. Judging by the grin splitting the blondes face, he is already dosed up again. Upon spotting Neil, he turns from the man. 

“Didn't anyone teach you that hitchhiking is dangerous? Or did he offer you candy?” 

Neil freezes. He hears a different, older voice mocking him. *I didn't even have to offer you candy.* The man had laughed as Neil had struggled to pull up his jeans. Neil would run, but Wymack and Andrew are blocking the door. 

“Fuck you.” Neil's voice sounds strange in his own ears. 

Wymack rounds on Andrew again, who doesn't seem to care. Neil doesn't listen, he doesn't care what they're saying as long as Andrew leaves. Neil has had most of his injuries tended to, and he's had a shower. Now he just needs Wymack to turn his back long enough for Neil to sneak away again. 

“Coach thinks you're going to break. Isn't that sweet?” 

Neil glares at him. “What the hell is your problem? How can you threaten Nicky for coming on to me but condone drugging me out of my mind against my will? Why can't you just leave me alone?” 

Neil had spoken in German and is rewarded with Andrews look of amused surprise. 

“What a surprise. Did nobody tell you how much I hate surprises?” 

“What makes you think I care?” 

“Oh, Neil. I'll get my answers one way or another. The easy way or the hard way.” 

Neil fights not to flinch, to not hear another voice in his ear, *C’mon boy don't be like that.* A fist striking the wounded part of his temple. Waking up with his pants around his knees, and Neil doesn't remember feeling the man's hands on him but he feels them now. He needs it to stop. 

“Fuckin’ a, kid. Breath, damnit!” 

There's a small scuffle but the hands are gone. Neil is afraid to look-- afraid to see the dirty cot in the back of the semi. 

“Goddamn it, Andrew!”

“Ah ah, Coach. We mustn't touch what isn't ours. And since slavery in the US was abolished some time ago, Neil is decidedly not yours. Keep your hands to yourself.” 

Only when the memories have faded a little does Neil dare to open his eyes. Andrew is standing in front of him, facing away towards Wymack. His knife has come out to play, warning the older man away. 

“Breathe, idiot.” Andrews smile is twisted towards Neil again, the knife sheathed.

He bends down to Neil's level. Sometime during his panic attack, Neil had bent over his knees on the floor. It's more concerning than comforting, considering that Neil doesn't trust Andrew for a split second. 

“Don't touch me.” 

“Something you would like to share with the class, Neil?” Andrew's eyes are dead but his smile is wide and taunting. 

“You're an asshole.” 

“Oh, we already knew that. What we don't know is how you got that nice necklace of bruises around your throat. And across about half of your face. And I'm willing to bet you've got a hell of a limp, too, don't you?”

Neil looks at Andrew with a self deprecating smile that's mostly smirk anyway. “Don't worry, I won't be a problem for you. I'm leaving.”

It's a bit of a subject change but Andrew allows it. It's all he wants, after all. He has a promise to keep to Kevin and Neil is all lies and loose ends. It won't do to keep him around and this solves the problem of Andrew having to hide a body. 

“Good. If you're here in the morning you're going to be sorry.” Andrew switches to English now. “Problem solved, coach.” 

Andrew lets himself out of the apartment. Neil turns to Wymack. 

“Can I stay here tonight? I know it's kind of sudden.”

Neil takes the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think???? Anyone ooc?? Please let me know!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!! Work has been insane.

Sleeping was an unfortunate accident. Neil has a lot of nightmares for someone who wasn't even conscious to experience the trauma. Not that he would admit that was traumatic-- getting shot had been traumatic; seeing his mother bleed out beside him had been traumatic. Waking up with his pants around his ankles had been… well, Neil doesn't have words for that, but it wasn't traumatic. 

The dreams are disturbing. It's like his confused mind is forced on rewind. Nicky is kissing him, and his mouth tastes like drugs. Then everything cuts like a scene from a movie, flashed forward to Neil struggling out of the bathroom in Columbia. The window is tight but it gets smaller the more Neil struggles. It's cinched around his waist and getting tighter and tighter as he fights it. 

He looks back to see why he can't move. It's no longer the window ledge holding Neil down, but bony hands with surprising strength. Neil claws uselessly at the window, fighting to get away from the man. 

A scream sits on the tip of his tongue when Neil wakes. Jerking upright makes something inside him ache. It's a terrible way to wake up, frightened and in pain, but unfortunately it's something Neil is used to by now. 

With shaking legs he grabs his bag and shoes-- after a shower he needs to leave. He had promised Andrew. Neil walks to the bathroom to shower the sweat and imaginary grime away. Neil's skin is still tender from scrubbing it only hours ago but he turns the water on hot anyway. He spends the entire time scrubbing at himself, paying special concentration to his legs and thighs. He scrapes the skin away in a few spots and the soap burns as blood bubbles up. Only then does Neil force himself to get out of the shower. He doesn't bother with his hair and steps into his own clothes-- clean ones this time, still packed away in his bag from the day before. Has it really only been two days since Columbia? 

Neil slips his shoes on and tiptoes out of the bathroom. Wymack is in the living room making coffee like it isn't two in the morning. 

“Morning,” Wymack growls, sleep and caffeine deprived. “Coffee is almost done.” 

There goes Neil's plan of escape. The bathroom is too close to the kitchen, which puts Neil too close to Wymack. He takes a few steps back, returning to the couch. He carefully folds the blanket and watches the man in the kitchen. He notices Wymack leaves a mug out for Neil. When the man comes into the front room Neil tenses even more than usual. 

Neil speaks quietly, his free hand tugging at his bangs. “I didn't mean to wake you.” 

“Obviously.” Wymack nods to Neil's packed duffle. “Where do you think you're headed so early? Got some place better to be?” 

Neil doesn't answer, looking away-- though he was careful to keep the man in his sights. Wymack tosses his free hand up in frustration. He does not approve of the way Neil jumps away in a full bodied flinch. Wymack freezes and slowly puts his arms down. Still, Neil takes an extra step or two back. It puts him closer to his bag, and closer to the door. 

“You've got a good thing going here, kid. Don't let Andrew push you back to a place where you're hurts and sleeping in bathrooms. Let me worry about Andrew. But as long as your name is on that contract, you're stuck with us.” 

Neil doesn't bother answering. He drops the bag on the floor, defeated, and walks back for a cup of coffee once Wymack has cleared the kitchen. He drinks it black in long swallows that makes his throat burn. 

“How did you find me yesterday?” 

“I went to the easiest way outta town first. I send Matt and Dan to the airport and Allison and Renee to the bus station.”

“You had everyone looking for me?” He hadn't thought they would care so much. They don't even know him. 

“You're a fox. We ain't letting go of you that easy.” 

Something strange unsettles Neil's nerves. “I'm going for a run.” 

“Leave that bag here. It's my insurance to make sure you don't go running off. I know you won't leave without that thing.” 

Neil sighs, tugging at his hair again. He leaves without answering. He wants to snap back, to tell Wymack that he doesn't need him or this team or the trouble that comes with it. That he can look after himself like he has since his mother died. But none of that coincides with the Neil character he is right now, so he doesn't. He leaves and silently stews in his anger. 

Running reawakens that ache inside him, the physical pain that reminds Neil what happened only days ago. It's persistent but ignorable. He makes himself concentrate on the pounding of his feet on the sidewalk. If Wymack won't let him leave, he has to stall Andrew. Neil comes up with a string of almost truths. Let Andrew think what he will about Neil's injuries-- he can't hide them, though Neil is loathe to show such a weakness to someone like Andrew. 

Neil hadn't thought about direction when he had ran-- his mind had been on his crawling skin and getting away from the older man. He had taken a left at the apartment door and ran toward campus and Perimeter Road. It was short enough that Neil was hardly winded but long enough that his smooth gait evolved to a limp. His insides began to ache as they protest the movement. Neil takes another lap to shake off the uncanny feeling of hands on his skin but it doesn't help. So he laps again and again. It doesn't matter that he runs past fox tower, the campus is usually quiet and safe even in the dark. So it doesn't matter until something hard swings into Neil's stomach, too fast to stop. 

Panicked, Neil tries staggering to his feet. A familiar face stops him. 

“I thought you were leaving, trouble.” Andrew swings the racquet in his hands. 

Neil is surprised that he's up so early. He isn't sure but it must be nearly four by now. 

“Fuck you.” Neil gasps. This seems to be routine for them now. Only coach isn't here to hold Andrews leash. 

“Pretty sure someone already did. Lets play a game-- no, don't argue, you don't get a choice. Be a good boy and play along. I'll ask a question and you answer truthfully. Then you get to ask me a question. I'll start. I told you we would have a problem if you stayed, and yet here you are. Why are you still here?” 

This one Neil can answer honestly. “Coach won't let me leave.” 

Andrew clicks his tongue. “Excuses.” 

“Why do you care?” 

“Because I have a promise to keep to Kevin. We made a deal, and this is me holding up my end. So unless I deem you harmless to Kevin, you're a problem.” 

“I'm not a threat to Kevin.”

“I don't believe you. If I can't get the answer from you, I'll get it elsewhere. Starting with your parents.” 

“Good luck with that-- they're dead.” Neil says, all fake feelings. 

“Did you kill them?” 

“No. But the Moriyamas did.” 

Neil pauses, waiting and gauging Andrews reaction. His face is still the sober kind of blank. He studies Neil in return. Then he motions his hand, a signal to continue. 

Neil launches into a story about his drug dealing father, and how his greed got him killed. How Neil had taken the stolen money and ran. All of it was close enough to the truth. Andrew seemed to believe him, which is what mattered. 

“I'm lucky Kevin doesn't recognize me.” 

“Then why did you stay?” 

“I'm tired,” Neil lets himself admit. “I have nowhere else to go and I'm too jealous of Kevin to stay away. He knows what it's like to hate every single day of his life, to wake up afraid. But he's got you at his back, telling him everything's going to be ok. He has everything, even after he lost everything. And I'm nothing, and I will always have and be nothing.” 

It sounded a bit pathetic, even to Neil's own ears, but it was truth. 

“Are you going to tell Kevin?” 

“No. Don't ask me stupid questions.” Andrew is looking at Neil still, but his face is too carefully blank now. 

“Tell me everything that happened between Columbia and when Coach found you. Then I'll let you stay.” 

Neil swallows the bile that rises. He had been hoping Andrew wouldn't care enough to demand an answer. Neil doesn't see how it would matter to anyone but himself, and maybe coach if Neil's blood tests come back positive for anything. But it shouldn't matter to Andrew. 

“Why?” 

“Because I want to know.”

Neil sighs, pulling at his hair until it hurts. “I hitched a ride from the nearest gas station. The guy hit me here,” Neil points to his temple where the bruising originates. Andrew notices it was the same spot the waiter has hit him the night before. “It knocked me out and when I woke up he dropped me off near the exit for Palmetto. I walked to campus from there and fell asleep in the library. I went back to the dorms for my bag when everyone should have been at practice. I was going to leave but Coach found me at the train station.” 

“What did he do?” Andrew asks, a mask of nonchalance. 

“I don't know. By the time I woke up we were already close to Palmetto. I woke up in pain and told him to pull over. I didn't stick around to ask.” 

Neil's shaking voice admitting to ‘woke up in pain’ is what confirms Andrews suspicions. It also cements his decision. 

“Make me a deal.” 

“What?” Neil looks shocked and a little afraid. 

“You stick around and keep Kevin interested. Keep his focus on Exy, on *you*. And I'll protect you from the people who are after you.” 

Neil's shock turns to suspicion in an instant. Andrew doesn't blame him, except he sort of does. Andrew isn't the type to take advantage of unwilling people. He isn't the monster everyone deems him as. 

“Why would you do that?” 

“It's in my best interest to keep Kevin playing here. I can't have him running off to the Ravens and breaking our deal. You're going to make sure that doesn't happen.” 

“How?”

“I don't care. You already have his attention-- keep it.” 

Neil nods. “It's a deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tentative ending? Honestly I'm surprised I made it this far. Originally this was going to be anone shot, so here we are!! What do you think? Good place to end it? Are there any future AFTG scenes you want to see here?   
> I am totally open to adding a few 'in the future' time lapse chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little one shot scene for Molfoy. I know you asked for regret, but that will come later. I hope this will suffice for now ;)

Neil pukes before he leaves the dorms. It’s been a week since he was… well, it’s been a week. Abby called him to meet her at her office, which is concerning. If his tests had come back clear, surely she would have just told him over the phone. Instead, he limps his way to the stadium, to Abby’s office. 

His ass still hurts, and it’s been bleeding lightly all the while- everything _down there_ still hurts. He doesn’t know if that was normal and he’s been too afraid to ask. Coach hasn’t let him on the court all week, per Abby’s orders. And he hasn’t been running- again, per Abby’s orders. So he doesn’t know why he still hurts. He’s been taking aspirin hourly. Matt keeps giving him concerned looks. 

Matt is an affectionate person. It seems to be a fundamental part of his personality. He like petting and ruffling Neil’s hair, or draping an arm across his shoulders. He likes sitting next to Neil, whatever he may doing, and eating lunch with him. This is a problem. 

It’s a problem, because as much as Neil disliked being touched before, it’s worse now. Neil can’t stand even the thought of someone touching him. Not even Matt. And he can’t help but flinch away when Matt raises his arm. Neil steps away and puts more space between them, every time. And he can see Matt’s concern. And Neil knows it draws too much attention, and that he’s being ridiculous but he can’t help it. He just doesn’t want to be touched. That shouldn’t be too much to ask. 

Thankfully Dan is better. She’s been wonderful about it. Since she and Matt are dating, the captain is around them a lot. She notices Neil’s discomfort and outright avoidance, and rather than comment on it she distracts Matt. She pulls his arm over _her_ shoulders. She holds Matt’s hand when they walk. She keeps his hands full so he doesn’t bother with Neil as much. 

Logically, Neil knows that he has to get over it. He knows that he draws more attention when he flinched and steps away, because normal people don’t do that. And he understands that Matt would never hurt him, nor Dan. Or Wymack, for that matter. Probably. And he doesn’t even remember what happened. He does not have a memory to be frightened of, only a little pain to remind him. And Neil has had plenty of practice dealing with pain. He should be fine. But the nightmares still plague him, and fear has embedded itself in him like a virus. 

Abby’s door is open but Neil knocks anyway. He keeps his hands in a fist because he doesn’t want his hands to shake. They’ve been doing that a lot lately and Neil doesn’t like it. The fox paws he draws keep coming out fuzzy because of it. 

“Neil, good afternoon. Please, come in. You can close the door behind you.” 

Neil locks it, too. He sits leaning on his hip, because his- he still hurts. Abby has papers in front of her, test results. She turns the paper so he can see for himself. 

“So, let’s cut to the nitty gritty. Your results came back mostly clear, save for one. Chlamydia. Now, it’s-“ 

The rush in Neil’s ears smothers our her voice. He closes his eyes, he doesn’t want to see the paper- a line of negative, negative, negative…. positive. 

Oh fuck. 

That bastard gave him some STD. Coach was never going to let him play again. Neil will lose his scholar. He’ll have to leave. Tonight. 

Fuck Andrew and Nicky and Aaron. Fuck that disgusting driver. The condom on the floor hadn’t been from the man. It must have been from another time. How many boys had the man ra- touched. How many people had that monster touched? Neil was going to be sick. 

“Neil, please.” 

_Let me out, please._

“It’s going to be okay.” 

_Please, please._

There was a hand placed in his shoulder, and Neil jumps. His eyes fly open, expecting to see the man still laughing at him. It’s only Abby, and she takes her hand away immediately. 

“Neil, listen to me. It’s treatable. You’re going to be okay.” 

“Treatable?” 

Neil had a spotty education at best; he tended to miss the sex ed classes taught in public schools. There was usually only a day to cover it before they moved on. He doesn’t know what may be treatable. 

“Yes, neil. You’re fine. It’s only some more antibiotics-“ Neil is currently on antibiotics to help fight infection. “I already picked up medication for you. Here, take these tonight. It’s a single dose, and you need to take them with dinner tonight.” 

Neil takes the orange bottle. Two large pills sit inside, nearly half the size of his thumb. 

“That’s it?” 

The nurse gives him a smile. Maybe she pities him. Neil kind of pities himself right now. 

“That’s it. Not so bad, huh? All things considered. It could have been worse. Are you still in pain? Did the bleeding stop?” 

“I’m fine,” Neil replies out of habit. But then again, the nurse obviously knows more about this sex stuff than Neil does. In a softer tone he says, “I’m still bleeding, a little.” 

Abby nods. “That could be from the Chlamydia. If it continues day after tomorrow, please come see me.” 

Neil stands to leave, clenching his jaw from the pain of it. Maybe he’ll take a nap before he eats. He’s exhausted. The bad dreams have been keeping him up with no way to run the anxious energy off. 

“And Neil.” Neil stops at the door, his hand on the knob. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry that this happened. But you’re going to be okay. And if you need anything from me, please let me know.” 

“Thanks,” Neil bites out before rushing out the door. He doesn’t want to prolong this process any longer than normal. 

With that thought in mind, and the pills rattling in his pocket with each halted step, Neil walks with the intentions of finding something to eat before he naps, rather than after. Exhaustion can wait. The pills cannot. He wants to be done with this mess. Once he takes the pills, everything will go away. He’ll be fine. He’s fine. 

The sound of rubber balls against glass echoes down the hall. It is no surprise to see Kevin practicing on the court. Wymack is probably here somewhere. And Andrew is sitting in the bleachers. Neil walks past with his head down, anxious to be gone. He and Andrew have been ignoring each other, barely tolerating each others presence. That was fine with Neil. 

Except that instead of ignoring him, per usual, Andrew stands and practically skips towards Neil. 

“So he lives!” Andrew cheers. It’s still early enough that Andrew is drugged to the gills. His teeth flash in the lights. 

“What do you want?” Neil is in no mood to play games. 

“Nothing.” Andrew’s stock reply. “What’s with the look? Did you get cooties?” 

Cooties? What the fuck? “No.” 

“Yet I hear pills rattling around, unless that’s your brain. Or you picked up a new hobby. I hear pill popping is very in style right now, ask Gordon. Should I forewarn coach about his baby striker’s bad habit?” 

_Hitchiking is a bad habit to get into. Bad habit. Bad. Badbadbadbad_

“Hey,” Andrew flicks Neil on the nose. “Don’t ignore me. I’m hungry, let’s get dinner. You and me. Bonding time. It’ll be fun.”

“Hell no.” 

“Kevin!” Andrew calls. “Stay with coach, I’m leaving.” 

Whatever Kevin says is ignored. As is Neil. Andrew practically forces Neil into the car. “I know a place. I’ll even pay,” Andrew grins. As if he’s being generous. As if he isn’t kidnapping Neil. 

His skin crawls from being enclosed with someone. Especially someone as dangerous as Andrew. They may have their truce but Andrew is unpredictable while drugged, and getting Neil along doesn’t bode well. 

The diner is small, and advertises a full menu of both American and Chinese food. Neil gets an egg drop soup and a bottle of water. Using the bathroom this last week has been painful enough that Neil has been sticking to liquids, mostly. 

Neil glares at Andrew while they wait. Andrew is sipping a chocolate milkshake, uncaring to Neil’s laser vision. 

“What do you want?” 

“Nothing.” Andrew taps an annoying beat on the table with the spoon. Neil wants to rip it out of his hands and throw it across the room. “Let me see what Abby gave you.” 

“Fuck off, it’s none of your business.” 

“Oh, I disagree. We’re teammates, remember?” 

Neil scoffs. “You hate Exy. You say so daily.” 

“I don’t hate Exy. I don’t care enough to hate Exy. It bores me.” 

They let the conversation drop until the food arrives. Andrew has a double bacon cheeseburger and a mountain of fries that makes Neil’s mouth water. It looks better than his egg drop soup. 

Neil fishes the medication out of his pocket and swallows the pills one at a time. They’re too large to swallow at once and his throat aches on the way down. Neil swallows the first pill with a few gulps of water and grimaces at the taste. 

Andrew, ever the opportunist, snags the orange prescription bottle off of the table. He only gets a glimpse of the label before Neil wrestles it back. But it’s enough to see the brand. 

“Chlamydia? Could be worse, I suppose. As far as cooties go.” 

_Could be worse_. Everyone kept saying that. As if Neil hadn’t been knocked unconscious and raped in the cab of some truck. _Could be worse_. As if his rapist hadn’t given him an STI. 

It could be worse- it could have been something incurable. But it could have been better. Neil could have _not_ been drugged at the club. He could have _not_ been kissed by Nicky. He could have _not_ gotten into that truck and he could have _not_ been violated. 

Neil swallows the last pill and abruptly stands. If he stays, he’s going to cause a scene and attack Andrew. And Neil has a feeling that he wouldn’t win. He may have two inches of height on the psychotic little midget, but Andrew has at least twenty pounds of muscle on Neil. 

He ignores Andrew- whatever the drugged bastard is saying, Neil doesn’t care to hear it. He’s intent on walking back to campus, regardless of the pain between his legs and his growing exhaustion. 

Andrew pulls him to a stop, his hand on Neil’s elbow. As if the touch lit a fuse, Neil explodes. He shoves Andrew away, hard enough that they both stumble. Andrew laughs. 

“Is this some joke to you? You must be a real sick freak to think that this funny. Does it make you feel good to know that you’ve got something on me? ‘This is what I get for not playing your little games’. Well fuck you, Minyard. You bastard dwarf. Fuck you!” Neil is shouting, probably drawing too much attention, but he doesn’t care. 

Andrew has that stupid smile on his face, looking entirely too pleased with himself. Neil feels like he might explode. His skin is too tight, and his chest feels weighed down and his hands won’t stop shaking. He feels like a bomb. He feels like the world is fracturing around him. 

“Oh, Neil. You can quit playing the victim now. Don’t forget this was your own fault, too. I drugged you to get answers; to protect my own. You were the one who hitched a ride with a pervert. Do you really have so little survival skills?” 

Neil’s shudders. Andrew wasn’t wrong. Neil had been thinking the same thing this whole time. But to hear it said aloud was…. was something else. Painful, almost. Too much. 

And so Neil runs, like he always does. Andrew may be fast in the goal but he’s lazy too. And no match for Neil in the streets. Neil is halfway down the block before Andrew can do anything to stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a lame ending, I know. But with some luck, I’ll add more little one shot scenes. Feel free to send me requests and stuff @booksaboutgay on tumblr :)

**Author's Note:**

> I only got this far... but it could be a mini series maybe, if I got enough hits. So tell me what you think!! I love all the comments :)


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